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Saturday, March 17, 2012

Rules of Engagement

I know, I'm way overdue for this post. The unfortunate reality of life and all it's little distractions has kept me from blogging. But I'm back and I'll try not to neglect my adoring public again.

*crickets*

Yeah, I expected that. In any case, I want to make some site-related announcements before I get into my actual blog post. First, I have my own domain. You can now read the blog by visiting http://www.theunparent.com/. The old Blogger address will continue to work, so use whichever you like. I'm also going to redesign the site. I keep looking at it, and I keep cringing. Expect an update in the not-so-distant future. Now, onto the meat and potatoes of the day.

I am fighting on the rebel side of a war. I hate to call it that because it makes me sound like a fanatic on my position as an individual who is Child Free by Choice (CFBC), but given how much and how often I have to defend myself, "war" is as good a term as any. But any war has its terms, and here is one you should know, because I will be using it often. This post is part glossary, part battle-lines-being-drawn.

Breeders
At first glance, someone who misunderstands me when I say that I'm at war might think that I'm at war with everyone who has children. This is not so. I have many friends who are parents and I get along with them swimmingly. I also have friends I get along perfectly fine with as long as I stay away from the parenting aspect of their lives. These are the Breeders. A derogatory term, for sure, but there is a reason for it. While the normal parents will respect our decision and see parenting as one aspect of their lives, the Breeders make everything about their children. Their child's smallest accomplishment outweighs your biggest news. They play the victim and often make comments about how they don't have time to do the things others do because of their devotion to their families. They are the ones who cry out for society to bend to their every whim while everyone else has to compromise (see Attack on City Hall). Breeders take on a sense of superiority the rest of us could never possibly understand because we have chosen a different path. It's a form of fanaticism, of zealotry no different than that of political or religious radicals. Circumstances change very little in the Breeders' reaction. If someone chooses to be child free, they're making a mistake, they're selfish, immature, and a host of other things. If a person is child free because they can't conceive, they get pity and a pat on the head.

There you have it. Later on, I will post far more in-depth articles about the specifics For now the lines in the sand are there, and the CFBC are fighting against their stigma as social pariahs. We are outnumbered, and mass media is not on our side. But we are resilient, know ourselves very well, are confident in our decisions, and are mindful of our surroundings. There is more to war than brute force. There's skill, patience, determination, strategy and most of all, belief. We have all these traits, we are growing in numbers, and we are coming.

2 comments:

  1. I love the term the breeders, I know those people. Fortunately most people I know are not breeders, but rather respectful. One of my friends recently said that she wanted me to know that she respected my decision not to have kids and was envious with how clear my position is (she is struggling over having a third child). Perhaps the CFBC need to form a group to get the respect we deserve!

    Looking forward to future blog posts!

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  2. Well hello there Hailey's Lady! :) I see we have more in common than just our pups.

    This is a great post. While there are so many people that don't let their parent status change who they actually are, these "breeders" become totally intolerable.

    Love this blog. Well written and insightful. Can't wait to read more!

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