Once more unto the breach, dear friends

Well, it's been a while now, hasn't it?

It's my fault. I didn't abandon this blog, but I did put a hold on it. The events that unfolded in Newtown, Connecticut last December made me want to back off for a while. Then came the holidays, then a series of personal events that turned into excuses more than anything else. But I'm back, and I still have a lot to say (lucky you, right?).

I could go into one of the many topics I had outlined before my hiatus but before I do, I want to speak my mind about something. Hey, it's my blog, so I can do that!

No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly

When I started this blog, I drew on people I knew and asked them to read it, mostly through social networking. I've gained a few new fans and followers since then, but most of my readers are known to me. This means that they have a personal connection to me and, by association, my writing. I've even occasionally written specific posts that address certain individuals. This has led to certain... less desirable situations. So grab a cup of your favourite beverage, get in your comfy chair, and let's talk it out, shall we?

For whom the bell tolls

I've had a lot of feedback from people about the blog, which is great. I've had positive and negative feedback, which is also great (nobody's perfect). There is, however, one reaction I do not like and it's happened a lot. You see, I make observations about Breeders, and parenting in general. I'll usually mention trends or social phenomena. So in these broad stroke statements, someone recognizes themselves sooner or later. If it so happens that I'm criticizing that behaviour or voicing disapproval in some way, people take it personally. And so I'm met with a barrage of "how dare you?" and "what do you know?" and the far more common "do you think I'm a bad parent?". I will, once in a blue moon, cite a specific example or person and I will use abbreviations, initials, or made up names. What I won't do, is start picking apart any single person's parenting style for the sake of blog-fodder. Why not?

Because you're not that important

Didn't see that one coming, did you? Yup, I love my readers. I wouldn't have much reason to write if no one read this blog. But this is not an analysis of any single person or couple's parenting style. I am not writing anyone's biography, nor do I intend to. I'm also not here to point fingers and tell people what they're doing wrong (or even right, though I do a bit of both now and again). I'm speaking my mind, writing down my observations about modern society and the rift between parents (primarily Breeders) and the child free. If you have to ask if I'm talking about you, I'm not. The reaction isn't entirely a conscious one. After all, after having children, a person's world shrinks. They are far more attentive to their immediate surroundings than they are to the big picture. This is normal, they have a small human being to take care of. But no matter how small their world gets, mine is just as big. So there. We good? Yeah, we good.

Distance has the same effect on the mind as on the eye

One of the more constructive discussions I had about the blog was when someone argued with a particular point I had made - I don't even remember what it was, or from what post. What I do remember is that I took her criticism to mean that she thought my opinion was invalid. That wasn't the case, she respected my position, but she did say that I lacked perspective. And to a certain extent, she's right. Having never had to care for children for extended periods of time, I don't have experience to draw on. What I do have is a sense of observation, the ability to gather and process information, and synthesize a conclusion. Years of troubleshooting as a career have made this process second-nature to me. I also admire utilitarianism (though I suck at practicing it), and so I try to apply logic to most situations I analyze, and this tends to frustrate the parents in debate with. That's it's own post, and it's coming soon.

For now, suffice it to say that I'm back, and I am nowhere near ready to shut up.

For the Cause

I am childfree by choice. I have reasons that I firmly believe in for making that decision. With that being said, my choice isn't the only valid one. Far from it. There are a multitude of different life situations out there, mine being only one of them. And though I created this blog to establish a foothold, a platform from which to express my ideas on child freedom, the current parenting phenomenon and society in general, I try as much as possible to keep a "live and let live" mentality. I rant, I complain and I criticize, but I am always open to dialogue. At the end of the day, I want my position to be validated, not emulated. I don't want my views or my choices to be acknowledged as better, I just want it respected that they are better for me.

Not everyone tries to keep this balance. In every cause, there are fanatics, zealots who insist that their way is the only way and they will try to impose that on anyone who will listen (or get in the faces of those who won't). Religion, politics, sports, even the great Coke vs. Pepsi debate has its share of people who will unleash their infinite rage upon those who don't capitulate and come completely to their side (I'm a Pepsi guy, in case anyone is wondering). The child freedom cause is no different. There are those who believe that everything should be segregated, that children should be banned from public spaces, that there should be no special provisions for families under any circumstances. There are those who believe that fines and other punitive measures should be implemented for anyone whose child might be an inconvenience to anyone. This isn't right. Fanaticism never leads to any progress. I've always been a firm believer that one person's freedom ends where the next person's begins. There are situations where loud noise levels due to lots of children are to be expected. I won't go there to read quietly, that just doesn't make sense. But if I'm going to a library, and there's an inordinate amount of toddler-screaming going on, I expect the parent/guardian to show the same courtesy and try to fulfill the purpose for which the space was designed.

Respecting boundaries is more important than (and can help avoid) drawing lines in the sand.