Perspective

This is a post I found on another website I can't name for various reasons. I did, however, find a post from one user I know only as jicara. As a change of pace from my usual spiteful ramblings, It thought it would be nice to listen to someone else who is CFBC for a change (posted with permission).

Anyone else great "parents" ?

I hold some pretty strong beliefs about children. How they should be raised, treated, taught, etc.

So sometimes, I have great advice, or I put my parent hat on, and get the child to listen, or do whatever, blah blah. And then people say "oh my gosh, you're so good at blank why don't you want kids?!"

But I have no desire to "show them how it's done". I don't want that responsibility of having to care that much about someone else's development. I think enough people don't grasp the true weight of that.

You are responsible for NOT fucking that child up so much that they can't function and/or unable to contribute to society. That's.. crushing. The depth of that; the financial, emotional and mental drain that has on you. I don't understand how people don't even at least, acknowledge this.

That's not to say, that there aren't great moments of being a parent. I'm not saying there aren't, or that there are few. I'm saying that the reward isn't enticing enough for me to even want to get near the starting point.

Does it make me selfish and horrible for admitting this?

I don't think so. I think it makes me honorable and honest. How many women really dig deep and say to themselves 'I'd be a horrible parent. So.. I shouldn't' and stick with it? How many are mentally, emotionally and physically abusing their children - both on purpose and not - because deep down, they really didn't want them. They instead, fell to pressures of society and listened that WE are the crazy ones. That we're the ones who aren't good people because we don't want that responsibility.

Society pushes us (people) to do what we LOVE to do. To give it our all. To be the BEST we can be. How many people really strive to be parents? Sure, there are those that grow up dreaming of parenthood. But.. I'm curious what the ratio is to those that their goal is parenthood and those that fall into it by happenstance?

I'm talking about those that are ambivalent about it. The ones who, because their friends do it, they get married, get pregnant and follow suit. That's also not to say that they're bad parents either. They are.. okay at it. Not bad, but not stellar.

We push ourselves to be more and be better everyday in our lives about silly, stupid things. Why don't we hold the same, if not HIGHER standards on parenting?

Thank you, jicara.