A round of BINGO

Some of you will remember my first BINGO-related post. For the uninitiated, childree BINGO is basically a list of things that we, the childfree, hear over and over again from people who don't accept or don't understand our choice of lifestyle. These statements are usually meant with no ill will, and any judgement is usually inadvertent. It just gets... redundant for us. And so, without further delay, I give you round 2 of CFBC BINGO (we're actually doing 2 sayings!).

"But you'd make such a great dad!"

Yup, I would. I'm financially stable and have the means to pay for a child's needs. I can cook, clean and have proven to be a competent educator. I have the mental discipline to follow a routine, I love challenging people's minds and senses, and I still have some of my whimsical childhood magic (I still have my favourite childhood teddy bear, and watch cartons daily). I have the makings of a good parent, but I don't want to be one. So when I get BINGO'd with this one, I usually offer the following facts:

I have higher than average upper body strength for my size. I'm skilled with knives and other clandestine weapons. I'm practiced (soon to be formally trained) in archery. I plan to learn and get certified in handling and storing firearms. I have heightened senses of hearing and smell (though my vision is weak, I'll admit that). I have an intermediate knowledge of human anatomy and know more ways to hurt someone than the average person. I would, in essence, make a good murderer. Maybe not great (let's not get away with delusions of grandeur, here), but good. I do not, however, go on nightly rampages killing other people.

"Come on, Rock. That's not the same!"

Well, ok. So murder isn't exactly socially acceptable or legal. I get that, but I wanted to make a point. And that point is that even though I have the ability to do something doesn't necessarily mean I should, and no one but me is qualified to say otherwise. No one has the right to tell me that I should or shouldn't father a child, regardless of how suited they think I might be. Besides, if it's something I don't actively want to do, and I force myself to do it, how good of a job will I really do? This isn't a set contract, this is a lifelong commitment. If I don't enjoy it or want to do it, then odds are my performance is going to suffer.

You're just being selfish

This is one of my favourites because of how often I hear it. I most often hear this from people who are older and have a few kids already (typically previous generations). They call me selfish because I don't want to give up my lifestyle, because I don't want to change who or what I am for the sake of parenthood, or because I wouldn't enjoy the responsibility. It would be far more noble of me to sacrifice the parts of my life I enjoy to engage in a full compromise of my life so I can bring another person into the world, then care for him/her. i'd like to add that previous generations are also the people who typically tell me how crazy and scary the world has gotten, and that they don't envy any child growing up today. The world is getting over populated, violence is running rampant, politics and economics are destabilized worldwide, and the environment is degrading faster and faster. And yet, I'm selfish for not bringing a child I don't want into this world.

Off the top of my head, I can name half a dozen people who have had children either for the attention, to try and "save" a relationship, or because it's become so trendy in Hollywood. Outside influence is treating their hormones like someone who can't drive a stick shift - switching gears without fully understanding what's going on, and doing more harm than good as a result. But these people's motives are more noble than my selfish ones.

It's an unfortunate double standard that is—I'm happy to say—diminishing. But it still exists. To those who want or have children and are fighting to give them a better tomorrow, I applaud you. It's a difficult job. It's a lifelong job. It's also a rewarding job. But it's not one i'll be applying for, no matter how much the other side might want to hire me. There are plenty of other positions in this world I'm qualified for.